Next to You
by Hacked It Out and Fell
Summary: New coupling for me! Xellos/Filia Val/Filia. Song Fic about Filia's thoughts and the results of her life after Try.


*thingy that says i do not own Slayers or the song "Next to You" or that i'm making any money for this*  
things in ` ` are song lyrics  
  
  
Next To You  
  
`Ooh ee oh, Ooh ee oh, Ooh ee oh`  
  
`Someday I'll be next to you`  
  
I don't know what to think, what to believe anymore. I have the other's, but they are not loyal to me, not really. They wait for their master to come into an age that he can once more lead them.   
  
My people, dead..I'm alive so my race is not dead, not yet. I'm lonely, no I'm not. I have the baby. The last of his kind. We are alone. There is no hope left for use, our race will never stay pure. Any children we have will never be fully of our kind.   
  
Why? Why does he make me question all that I have ever known? Why should I question anything from him? Oh, but I do. Why? I don't understand. He shouldn't make me feel...this way.   
His words guided me, they helped me to discover just how niave my actions were, are. He goaded me, taunted me. I hate him! No, no I don't. Oh why, I can't feel anything for him. Yet, I do.  
  
`Montague and Capulet`  
`Whispered through the wall`  
`Words that they could not forget`   
`After all`  
  
I prey, everynight for answers. Answers that will never come. He comes still, the others are gone but he still stays. Oh, what do I do? I tell him that I hate him, but inside I am glad to see him. Is this feeling actually a semblance of love or am I clinging to one part of my past, so that I do not have to face this future totally alone.   
  
`Thoughts across this violet sky`  
`Letters to the moon I write, oh`  
`Is our Love impossible?`  
`Tell me why`  
`Is it wrong for us`  
`Oh to love so much`  
  
Time passed so slowly, my charge is now grown. I think I am falling in love with him. He does not remember his past, I have told him all about his life, past and now present. He has grown with an understanding and a kindness that was never there before.   
  
Finally as my heart begins to heal and the sins of the past do not haunt me so much my thoughts of Xellos fade. I realize that what I felt so very long ago was just an illusion that I cast about myself. Xellos hasn't been here in a very long time. Strange, why do I think so deeply of him now?  
  
`Keep the candle burning(Ooh ee oh)`   
`Someday I'll be nect to you`  
`As long as this world's turning`  
`One day i'll be next to you`  
`Keep the candle burning(Someday I'll be, Someday I'll be)`  
`Someday I'll be next to you`  
  
It hurts, Oh Gods please let this end! He came back, after all this time. Why Xellos, why me? What have I done to earn this death by you? No warning, nothing. I could do nothing. Val, he was no match for Xellos. Oh, It hurts! Xellos will not even grant me a swift death.  
  
I am lingering now, death is right there, I feel it. Why won't it come? Why can't I die, I want this pain to end! I want Val's pain to end. He can not help me, he can not fight Xellos yet. He won't risk hurting me further, he doesn't understand. I'm dead already, nothing he could do could hurt me, perhaps it would end this suffering.   
  
Life, no death. I am dead, I feel it. My spirit wants to rest but it can't. This power is holding me here, mixing with my soul. Why? What could be doing this is Val trying to save me? Trying to bring me back? No, this is a cold energy, not the warmth and love that Val's would have. What is this?  
  
Opening my eyes I realize I am neither dead or alive. No, he could have! I refuse to believe it. Oh Gods, How could he do this? No, oh no...Val..I'm sorry. I can't be with you anymore. I am no longer a golden dragon, I am like you once were. A monster. Even now, I feel my humanity slipping away.   
  
`Maybe if I held my ground`  
`Or stood up to authority, oh`  
`Then our love would not be bound`  
`We's be free`  
`It is wrong for us`  
`Oh to feel so much`  
  
`Keep the candle burning(Ooh ee oh)`   
`Someday I'll be nect to you`  
`As long as this world's turning`  
`One day i'll be next to you`  
`Keep the candle burning(Someday I'll be, Someday I'll be)`  
`Someday I'll be next to you`  
  
Val, how long has it been? Hundreds of years since we last met? I am to be tested today. I must proove myself to my Master's now. You are my test. You will die at my hands now. You are so strong now, we fight so hard. You plead with me to break their hold on me.   
  
Somewhere deep, down inside, a tiny bit of who I was still lives. Your words reach me, for a moment I hesitate.   
  
I feel it, the pain again. I am being ripped and pulled at. I am dying, again. This time there will be no resurrecting me. Val, you cry for me. Why? I know why, but I can't understand. I feed one last time, from the dispair you suffer from. Val, do not cry. I am not her, I am not the one that was Mother to when you were younger. I am not the one that taught you love and was your lover later in life. No, she died a long time ago. Do not cry for me. You didn't kill that woman, just a shadow of her.  
  
Free, I feel no burden, no pain. My spirit is free at last. My soul can rest. I look down as I fae away. Val holds my body, he cries over it. Xellos is behind him. Val does not fight him, words are exchanged, I don't know what. I see Xellos raise his staff as I leave this place. My heart is sad but filled with hope. I know soon Val will join me. We will have all eternity now, our souls will be together in death.  
  
`Someday love will carry us`  
`To place that's made for us`  
`Ooh ee ooh...`  
`And ooh someday.`  
`I'll be next to you`  
`As long as this world's turning`  
`Someday, Someday`  
  
Val has not come, why? I find the energy to search for his soul. I go back to present and watch the events. I feel his soul so close to joining mine, I call out to guide him. Oh no! No, no, no! Please don't let this happen, not again! Please, not again.   
  
`Keep the candle burning, burning in my heart`  
  
Time passes, but I can not rest. I will wait on this earth till Val is free and his soul is let go. I will wander for all eternity waiting on him. I guided him from the darkness once and I will wait to guide his soul to rest once more.   
  



End file.
